Among the many life changes following a traumatic brain injury (TBI), intimate relationships are affected in a variety of ways due to:
- Changes in responsibilities
- Changes in relationship roles
- Problems with communicating
- Managing emotions and mood swings
Becoming accustomed to these changes often results in feelings of uncertainty in the relationship, which can lead to additional stress, anxiety, and frustration.
RESPONSIBILITIES
Since the traumatic brain injury survivor needs to focus on recovery, many everyday tasks are transferred to the person’s partner. The partner also needs to assist with managing the survivor’s recovery while maintaining his or her own typical responsibilities, which can lead to neglecting self-care and personal interests.
At the same time, the TBI survivor may be seeking more attention, which can cause feelings of frustration and sadness on both sides. Understanding that these are common feelings following a traumatic brain injury and keeping open lines of communication with each other can help.
RELATIONSHIP ROLES
Often after a traumatic brain injury, relationship roles are switched. The partner may be making decisions that the TBI survivor used to make, like financial or child care decisions. The survivor may then disagree with the partner’s decisions, which can lead to further stress and irritability.
Develop a better understanding of each other’s new roles through:
- Changing your perspective to view things through the other person’s eyes
- Serving as a mentor/consultant for each other in the new responsibilities, instead of being critical
COMMUNICATION
Following a TBI, relationships can struggle due to a lack of communication, resulting from a fear that asking questions or communicating feelings might lead to misunderstandings.
Reduced communication can cause:
- Feelings of isolation or disconnectedness
- Pent up emotions
- Difficulties adjusting to a new normal
To foster open and honest communication:
- Avoid discussing difficult subjects when the other person feels angry or irritated.
- If broaching a sensitive topic, be sure there is plenty of time available for the discussion.
- Plan a fun date together such as watching a movie on TV, playing a game, eating at a favorite restaurant or taking a walk to reduce tension.
- For particularly sensitive topics, try writing a letter to your partner, describing your position and feelings.
- Devote time to simply talking, to get to know each other again.
EMOTIONS
Typical emotional changes for a traumatic brain injury survivor include difficulties controlling anger, lack of empathy, mood swings and depression. It’s important for partners to understand that these emotional challenges are a reflection of the injury, not the relationship.
Ways to help include:
- Having a conversation about what makes the survivor sad, worried or angry.
- Paying attention to when mood changes occur in order to help determine why they occur.
- Being patient, but setting firm boundaries that threats, insults or hurting others is not acceptable.
Recognize that there may be grief and disappointment involved with missing the “pre-injury” person. However, with a combination of education, encouragement and understanding, it is possible to maintain healthy, loving relationships. It’s equally important to accept care support to allow each other more time to focus on the relationship apart from care needs.
Contact Compassionate Care Home Health Services, a provider of Mid-Michigan home health and hospice services, to learn more about our specialized care for persons with TBI from our highly-skilled in-home caregivers. Visit our locations page to see all of the communities we serve.